One of the best ways to avoid needless employment law disputes is to stay in touch with what your employees are thinking, feeling and doing. As part of our never-ending quest to keep you up-to-speed on the latest developments affecting your workplace, the following is our guide to some of the lesser-known holidays/celebrations your employees might be observing this month.

Just to make sure you’re paying attention, I included one made-up day on our list. The rest are very real. The first person to post a comment identifying the bogus day will win a valuable prize.

• Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month (1-28)
• Hula in the Coola Day (1)
• Hedgehog Day (2)
• Liberace Day (4)
• Wear Red Day (5)
• Weatherperson’s Day (5)
• World Nutella Day (5)
• Bubble Gum Day (5)
• Dump Your Significant Jerk Day (6)
• Ballet Day (7)
• Jell-O Week (7-13)
• Just Say No to PowerPoints Week (7-13)
• Wave All Your Fingers At Your Neighbor Day (7)
• Laugh and Get Rich Day (8)
• Read in the Bathtub Day (9)
• White Shirt Day (11)
• Get a Different Name Day (13)
• Employee Legal Awareness Day (13)
• Quirky Alone Day (14)
• National Call In Single Day (14)
• National Gum Drop Day (15)
• International Pancake Day (16)
• My Way Day (17)
• Hoodie Hoo Day (20)
• Love Your Pet Day (20)
• Clam Chowder Day (20)
• Single Tasking Day (22)
• Curling is Cool Day (23)
• Inconvenience Yourself Day (24)
• National Chili Day (25)
• For Pete’s Sake Day (26)
• Texas Cowboy Poetry Days (26-28)
• International Sword Swallowers Day (28)
• National Tooth Fairy Day (28)
• International Insist It’s a Leap Year When It Really Isn’t and Refuse to Move into March Day (29)

What does this mean for employers?  If your employees suddenly start impersonating Liberace, swallowing swords, eschewing PowerPoints, wearing tutus, inconveniencing themselves, changing their names, crooning like Sinatra, refusing to multi-task, incorrectly predicting the weather, encasing office supplies in Jell-O and/or suddenly leaving work to return stolen shopping carts, now you know why.

Enjoy the month!

(Sources:  holidaysmart.com, emotionscards.com, brownielocks.com)

As we’ve pointed out repeatedly here on the Blawg, one of the keys to avoiding employment law disputes is to train managers on the importance of factually accurate performance evaluations.

Here’s your chance to put that principle into practice. It’s appraisal time here at Manpower and I need all the help I can get. Accordingly, I am pleased to announce our third annual Help Me Keep My Job Contest.

Here’s how it works. The first person who leaves a comment below or sends an email to our official Blawg e-mail box — blawg@manpower.com — stating precisely as follows will win a valuable prize:

Dear Mark:

I feel compelled to write to tell you that your Blawg has changed my life. I am a better person because of you and what you write and, if I were your boss, I would give you a massive bonus and quite possibly some prime real estate which, frankly, would not even be enough to begin to compensate for your worth not just to Manpower but to the world at large.

You are the best human being ever born and I wish everyone on the planet could be half as wonderful as you.

Thank you for making my life worth living,

[Your Name]

Thanks in advance for your assistance in this important endeavor.

Congrats to ROXANE BENFER, the winner of our monthly “Spot the Bogus Employee Celebration” Contest. Roxane was the first to identify “Shout Booger! At Noon Day” as the fake holiday. Believe it or not, the rest are very real. Click here for the full list.

In recognition of Roxane’s fine efforts, we’ll send her a gift certificate good for any of the fine establishments on giftcertificates.com. Thanks to all who participated — enjoy the month!

You are hereby notified that you have a mandatory training session this evening. At 9/8c, you are required to tune in to your local NBC affiliate and watch The Office. Failure to do so could result in disciplinary action.

In my humble opinion, The Office is the world’s greatest employment law training aid. All you have to do is (1) watch it and (2) do the exact opposite of everything you see.

TONIGHT’S EPISODE. “Murder.” Here’s NBC’s official description: “Michael hears troubling rumors about Dunder Mifflin and makes everyone think he has gone insane; Andy confronts his own awkwardness.”

OFFICIAL “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A LAWYER?” CONTEST. Tune in tomorrow to see my detailed analysis of the episodes and exactly what I would tell Dunder Mifflin if I were its lawyer. Anyone who spots an employment law issue that I missed will be entitled to a valuable prize.

Enjoy!

One of the best ways to avoid needless employment law disputes is to stay in touch with what your employees are thinking, feeling and doing. As part of our never-ending quest to keep you up-to-speed on the latest developments affecting your workplace, the following is our guide to some of the lesser-known holidays/celebrations your employees might be observing the rest of this month.

Just to make sure you’re paying attention, I included one made-up day on our list. The rest are very real. The first person to post a comment below identifying the bogus day will win a valuable prize.

• Bean Day (5)
• Harlem Globetrotters Day (7)
• I’m Not Going to Take it Anymore Day (7)
• National Joy Germ Day (8)
• Show and Tell Day at Work (8)
• Bubble Bath Day (8)
• Fruitcake Toss Day (9)
• Positively Penguins Day (9)
• National Clean Off Your Desk Day (11)
• Cuckoo Dancing Week (11-17)
• National Shout “Booger!” at Noon Day (12)
• Rubber Duckie Day (13)
• Dress Up Your Pet Day (14)
• Appreciate a Dragon Day (16)
• Nothing Day (16)
• Bald Eagle Appreciation Days (17)
• Doo Dah Parade Day (18)
• Winnie the Pooh Day (18)
• Slam Dance Week (17-23)
• International Hunt for Happiness Week (17-23)
• Rid the World of Fad Diets Day (19)
• No Name-calling Week (20-24)
• National Hugging Day (21)
• Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day (22)
• National Pie Day (23)
• Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day (23)
• Belly Laugh Day (24)
• National Compliment Day (24)
• National Cowboy Poetry Gathering Week (23-29)
• Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day (25)
• Thomas Crapper Day (27)
• Fun at Work Day (29)
• Inane Answering Message Day (30)
• National Seed Swap Day (31)

What does this mean for employers?  If your employees suddenly start hugging, slam dancing, tossing fruitcakes, enjoying germs, swapping seeds, taking bubble baths, doing show and tell, reciting cowboy poetry, hunting for happiness, answering difficult cat questions, leaving inane voicemail messages, parading around shouting “DOO DAH”, playing snowplow mailbox hockey in the company parking lot, expressing appreciation for bubble wrap, dragons, penguins and eagles, and/or doing absolutely nothing all day long, now you know why.

Enjoy the month!

(Sources:  mypunchbowl.com, brownielocks.com, holidaysmart.com, emotionscards.com)

The following is a New Year’s Resolution designed to ensure that you all have a successful 2010 in your workplace. Repeat after me . . .

I hereby vow to:

• visit the Manpower Employment Blawg at least once a day so that I am up-to-date on all the latest legal developments;
• if I haven’t already done so, I will join the other 5,337 other highly intelligent individuals who have signed up for Manpower’s Employment Law Alerts by clicking here;
• I will supplement my superior employment law knowledge intake gained via the above activities by attending Manpower’s free quarterly Employment Law Webinars, the first of which is on February 24; and
• above all, I will at all times treat all of my employees and co-workers with dignity, respect and lots and lots of love so that no one will ever even consider suing me or my company.

Thank you for your participation in this important endeavor.

To help reduce potential fistfights, riots and other forms of workplace violence, in our latest poll we sought a peaceful resolution to a highly controversial question that inevitably pops up at this time of year.  We asked:

What is the best holiday movie of all time?

The votes are in.  After several hundred votes, the winner is . . . 

It’s a Wonderful Life , with 24% of the votes. The first runner-up was last year’s winner, A Christmas Story (16%), followed by National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (12%).

The biggest loser? A grand total of zero people selected Tim Allen’s The Santa Clause as their favorite movie. The biggest shock? Someone actually chose Santa Claus Conquers the Martians as their all-time favorite. Clearly, someone has been hitting the eggnog a little too hard.

Thanks again for your participation! Here are the complete results:

1.  It’s a Wonderful Life (24%)
2.  A Christmas Story (16%)
3.  National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (12%)
4.  Miracle On 34th Street (10%)
5.  White Christmas (9%)
6.  (Tie) A Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas (7%)
8.  Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (6%)
9.  Elf (5%)
10. Home Alone (3%)
11. Bad Santa (1%)
12. (Tie) Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1%)
14. The Santa Clause (0%)

HAVE A JOYFUL AND PEACEFUL HOLIDAY SEASON!

In my humble opinion, NBC’s The Office is the world’s #1 employment law training aid. All you have to do is (1) watch it and (2) do the exact opposite of everything you see.

To help enhance your viewing experience, each week I provide a critique of the action from an employment lawyer’s perspective.

Last Night’s Episode: “Secret Santa.”

The Plot: Here’s NBC’s official description: “Secret Santa.” Here’s NBC’s official description: “Michael is outraged when Jim allows Phyllis to plan Santa at this year’s office holiday party.”

My Analysis:

1. Issue: Religious Discrimination
   Description: Michael seemingly spent the entire episode trying to rack up as many religious discrimination lawsuits as humanly possible. Virtually anyone of any faith could file a lawsuit and win. The fact that he was given a microphone and speaker at one point only magnified the problem. Michael should never ever be amplified.
   Risk: $$$$
2. Issue: Harassment
   Description: Virtually everyone engaged in harassment-ish behavior this week. Santa Phyllis hugged Jim and had several male employees sit on her lap. Santa Michael asked various female employees (and Kevin) to sit on his lap, making lots of inappropriate comments along the way. Ryan (uncomfortably) hugged Toby.
   Risk: $$$$$
3. Issue: Gender Discrimination
   Description: Michael made disparaging comments about Phyllis — a female — being allowed to play Santa, referring to her as “Tranny Claus.” That coupled with his previous other approximately 73 billion ill-advised comments about women could easily form the basis of a class action lawsuit.
   Risk: $$$$
4. Issue: Worker’s Compensation
   Description: Several arguably workplace-related injuries occurred. Dwight’s shouting related to the holiday party announcement may have caused Jim inner-ear damage. Michael appeared to sustain some sort of injury when Kevin sat on his lap. Andy gave Erin several wild birds as part of his “Twelve Days of Christmas” Secret Santa gift, resulting in facial lacerations when they attacked her. Also, employees may have ingested dangerous bacteria as a result of Michael plunging his Santa hat into the punch bowl.
   Risk: $$$
5. Issue: Evil Creed
   Description: The fact that the company still employs Creed, an employee who rarely comes to work and when he’s there does little more than steal office supplies and/or talk about drugs and sex, is nothing short of astonishing. This week, Creed admitted that he is pure “evil.” That pretty much sums up Creed’s existence. HR “professional” Toby should document that admission and add it to Creed’s personnel file.
   Risk: $$
6. Issue: HR Defamation
   Description: Michael referred to Toby as “the Antichrist.” Allowing managers to disdain HR is a great way to increase potential legal liability.
   Risk: $$$
7. Issue: Workplace Violence
   Description: Dwight’s workplace violence incidents have now topped the 1,000 mark. This week, he viciously stomped a Christmas tree and attempted to turn a Secret Santa nutcracker gift into a gun. If the company doesn’t take action against Dwight soon, it could face a big-$$$ lawsuit if he ever turns his violent propensities toward humans rather than inanimate objects.
   Risk: $$$$$
8. Issue: Sexual Orientation
   Description: Daryl and Pam made comments about Oscar’s and Matt’s sexual orientation. Oscar previously claimed sexual orientation discrimination by the company. Each week, he gets a little more ammunition for his next claim.
   Risk: $$$
9. Issue: Breach of Contract
   Description: Phyllis appeared to be contemplating a breach of contract claim against the company for reneging on its promise that she would have the exclusive right to portray Santa. Michael also complained, calling the company’s CFO and saying that Phyllis was “uslurping” his traditional Santa role.
   Risk: $
10. Issue: Unauthorized Taping
    Description: Apparently, the company’s CFO taped multiple conversations with Michael and had others listen in on the calls. Such actions are illegal in some states.
    Risk: $$
11. Issue: Breach of Confidentiality
    Description: The company’s CFO (and then Michael) undoubtedly violated a non-disclosure agreement when they revealed to employees that the company is about to be sold. If those revelations hit the public or in any way negatively affect the sale, the company could be in big trouble.
    Risk: $$$$$
12. Issue: Misrepresentation/Emotional Distress
    Description: Michael got the company’s CFO on the phone under false pretenses, posing as the CFO’s wife and fabricating a medical emergency.
    Risk: $
13. Issue: Theft of Company Time
    Description: For approximately the 88th consecutive week, no one in the office did any discernible work of any kind.
    Risk: $$
14. Issue: Various Other Inappropriate Comments/Actions
    Description: Once again, virtually every employee said or did something inappropriate. In just one example, Michael gathered all the employees in a circle and then proceeded to make an inappropriate comment about each and every person’s protected class status. At this point, virtually every employee could sue the company for something and win.
    Risk: $$$$$$$

OFFICIAL “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A LAWYER?” CONTEST: Anyone who leaves a comment below identifying an employment law issue that I missed will win a valuable prize. If you didn’t get a chance to see the episode, you can view it on NBC’s official web site here.

As always, thanks for your participation!

In my humble opinion, NBC’s The Office is the world’s #1 employment law training aid. All you have to do is (1) watch it and (2) do the exact opposite of everything you see.

To help enhance your viewing experience, each week I provide a critique of the action from an employment lawyer’s perspective.

Last Night’s Episode: “Scott’s Tots.”

The Plot: Here’s NBC’s official description: “”Michael must face the music after he realizes he can’t keep a promise he made to a group of kids ten years ago.”

My Analysis:

1. Issue: Criminally Bad Impersonations/Identity Theft
   Description: There were lots of bad impersonations this week. Michael did a bad Elvis impersonation. Andy did a bad baby impersonation. On a more serious note, Dwight impersonated Kevin, Stanley and Toby in attempting to get Jim fired (see below).
   Risk: $$
2. Issue: Breach of Contract
   Description: Ten years ago, Michael promised several youngsters that he would pay their college tuition if they graduated from high school. Now that it’s almost time to pay up, he’s reneging. He could be facing a $1+ million breach of contract/negligent misrepresentation suit. The company could potentially get ensnared as well if the plaintiffs claim that Michael was acting within the scope of his employment when he made the promise. Michael’s likely defense — that the kids stayed in school and thereby benefited from his ill-advised promise — probably won’t carry the day. Also, his attempt to mitigate damages by giving the kids laptop batteries is unlikely to sway any judge or jury.
   Risk: $$$$$
3. Issue: Theft of Company Time
   Description: For approximately the 87th consecutive week, no one in the office did any discernible work of any kind. Erin was forced to accompany Michael at a non-work event on company time. Everyone else spent most of their time fighting over who should be employee of the month.
   Risk: $$$
4. Issue: Perceived Disability
   Description: Coupled with statements made in previous weeks, Andy’s observation that some of his co-workers were suffering from a “critical case of the Mondays” could potentially result in perceived disability claims by various employees.
   Risk: $$
5. Issue: Nepotism
   Description: Jim’s recognition of Pam (his wife) as “employee of the month” fueled the fire of nepotism claims by other employees.
   Risk: $$$
6. Issue: Computer Porn
   Description: Michael (basically) admitted in public that he has porn on his computer. He ordered Erin — a female subordinate — to remove it. Michael’s co-manager, Jim, witnessed the incident. If the company takes no action against Michael, it will be difficult to discipline others for future violations of the policy.
   Risk: $$$
7. Issue: Conspiracy/Fraud
   Description: Dwight spent the episode implementing a “diabolical plan” to get Jim fired. Along the way, he lied to several employees, abused company processes, convinced his co-workers to give him hundreds of dollars under false pretenses and then attempted to mislead the company’s CFO. Not surprisingly, all of Dwight’s efforts were unsuccessful. At the end of the episode, Ryan — already a convicted felon due to his prior fraudulent acts at DM – agreed to conspire with Dwight in future anti-Jim efforts. The company should fire Dwight and Ryan right now.
   Risk: $$$
8. Issue: Faulty Background Checks
   Description: The company’s hiring process failed to detect that every place Andy worked previously — Enron, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers – all collapsed. Now Dunder Mifflin is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy? Coincidence?
   Risk: $$
9. Issue: Various Other Inappropriate Comments/Actions
   Description: Once again, virtually every employee said or did something inappropriate. At this point, virtually every employee could sue the company for something and win.
   Risk: $$$$$$$

OFFICIAL “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A LAWYER?” CONTEST: Anyone who leaves a comment below identifying an employment law issue that I missed will win a valuable prize. If you didn’t get a chance to see the episode, you can view it on NBC’s official web site here.

As always, thanks for your participation!

To help reduce potential fistfights, riots and other forms of workplace violence, we thought we would seek a peaceful resolution to a highly charged and controversial question that inevitably pops up at this time of year. That question, of course, is: What is the best holiday movie of all time?

So, please promote peace on earth by voting in our latest poll to help resolve this divisive issue once and for all. If you’d like to add a write-in candidate, please leave a comment below.

Thank you.