Here’s this week’s question, one that we’re asked approximately every 0.8 seconds:

Employment laws can be exceedingly difficult to administer — especially when they change approximately every 0.3 seconds as they have so far this year.

To help us ensure that we’re giving you the information you need, each quarter we ask you to identify the employment law area that is giving you the most trouble. This quarter, we asked a webinar audience of 2,000+ the following question . . .

What employment law issue gives you the most headaches?

“RIFs/Terminations” topped the list, with 30% of the votes. That was a marked departure from last quarter, when “Medical Issues” received more votes than all the others combined (55%). “Medical Issues” did finish #2 this quarter, with 24% of the votes, followed by “Hiring” with 17%. ”Wage and Hour” and “Investigations” rounded out the top five with 15% apiece.

We’ll use these results to guide the content we create here on the Blawg, as well as future webinars. Thanks for expressing yourselves!

In my humble opinion, NBC’s The Office is the world’s #1 employment law training aid. All you have to do is (1) watch it and (2) do the exact opposite of everything you see.

To help enhance your viewing experience, each week I provide a critique of the action from an employment lawyer’s perspective.

Last Night’s Episode: “Koi Pond.”

The Plot: The office turns the warehouse into a haunted house for kids from the neighborhood. Michael falls into a fish pond while visiting a client.

My Analysis:

1. Issue: Theft of Company Time
   Description: Once again, no employees performed any discernible work (other than Pam’s and Andy’s comically horrific attempts at sales). The employees spent the bulk of their time traumatizing children via the haunted house and thinking up creative ways to make fun of Michael for falling into the pond.
   Risk: $$
2. Issue: Children in the Office = Bad Idea
   Description: Exposing children to Michael and anyone else from the office is a recipe for disaster. Carting the kids around on a forklift through the not-exactly-OSHA-compliant warehouse exposed the kids to serious risk. The company should expect an emotional distress class action from the kids’ parents as a result of the obvious trauma inflicted by Michael’s fake suicide (as well as the kids being forced to interact with various other inappropriately costumed employees).
   Risk: $$$$$
3. Issue: “Ageist” Comments
   Description: Several employees made “ageist” comments regarding Creed (the oldest employee in the office) and others. Age discrimination claims were recently ranked by employers as the #1 source of employment law risk. Allowing age-related jokes and comments in the workplace can lead to big-ticket lawsuits in a hurry.
   Risk: $$$$
4. Issue: Workers’ Comp
   Description: Andy may attempt to make a WC claim based on headaches induced by Pam when she interrupted his singing, thereby triggering his sensitivity to “unresolved melodies.”
   Risk: $
5. Issue: Workplace Violence
   Description:  Kevin threatened to kill Erin for revealing that he was the source of a joke about Michael’s fish pond incident. As with path threats (and actual violence), the company took no action.
   Risk: $$
6. Issue: Insubordination and Emotional Distress
   Description: The rampant jokes about Michael falling into the pond bordered on insubordination and caused a near-breakdown by Michael. The employees disobeyed Jim’s repeated orders not to play the video footage of the incident. As always, the company did nothing to address the insubordination.
   Risk: $$
7. Issue: Bad Training
   Description: Michael conducted “sensitivity training” that was anything but sensitive. Several inappropriate sexual and other comments were made as a result. Michael should be ordered to cease and desist from conducting future training sessions of any kind.
   Risk: $$$
8. Issue: Misrepresentation
   Description: Michael and Jim both lied about Michael falling into the pond. Lying to employees and attempted cover-ups are never a good idea. If managers create a culture of “untruthiness,” the risk of ethics violations and corruption increases dramatically.
   Risk: $$$$
9. Issue: Fish Homicide
   Description: Michael inadvertently killed a fish by stepping on its head when he fell into the pond, thereby subjecting the company to a claim for damages from one of its biggest clients.
   Risk: $$$
10. Issue: Failure to Act
    Description: The video of the pond incident clearly showed Jim failing to take any action to save Michael. The incident clearly traumatized Michael and could open Jim (and/or the company) to a “failure to act” claim.
    Risk: $$
11. Issue: Sexual/Pregnancy Harassment
    Description: Andy engaged in extremely creepy actions toward Pam on a sales call, touching her pregnant belly and making highly inappropriate comments. The fact that Andy continues to be employed despite his clear performance and behavior deficiencies is a huge source of risk.
    Risk: $$$$
12. Issue: Various Other Inappropriate Comments/Actions
    Description: Once again, virtually every employee said or did something inappropriate. The main culprit this week was — as always — Michael (inappropriate references to prostitution, Daryl being a “gangsta” and various “ageist” comments noted above). At this point, virtually every employee could sue the company for something and win.
    Risk: $$$$$

OFFICIAL “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A LAWYER?” CONTEST: Anyone who leaves a comment below identifying an employment law issue that I missed will win a valuable prize. If you didn’t get a chance to see the episode, you can view it on NBC’s official web site here.

As always, thanks for your participation!

You are hereby notified that you have a mandatory training session this evening. At 9/8c, you are required to tune in to your local NBC affiliate and watch the episode of The Office. Failure to do so could result in disciplinary action.

In my humble opinion, The Office is the world’s greatest employment law training aid. All you have to do is (1) watch it and (2) do the exact opposite of everything you see.

TONIGHT’S EPISODE:

Koi Pond.  Here’s NBCs official description:  “The staff plans a haunted house for local children; Michael falls into a koi pond during a business meeting; Pam and Andy try cold calling to improve sales”.

OFFICIAL “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A LAWYER?” CONTEST. Tune in tomorrow to see my detailed analysis of the episodes and exactly what I would tell Dunder Mifflin if I were its lawyer. Anyone who spots an employment law issue that I missed will be entitled to a valuable prize.

Enjoy!

The Blawg will officially be on vacation this week for some scheduled maintenance and so that I can fully enjoy my final family vacation with our soon-to-be-leaving-the-nest 18-year-old twins.

See you next week!

Congrats to ED CARPENTER, winner of our monthly “Spot the Bogus Employee Celebration” Contest. Ed was the first to identify Reply to All E-mails with the Phrase “Your e-mail is one of approximately 87,000 I received today – I will respond in approximately 87 years” Day as the fake holiday. Believe it or not, the rest are very real. Click here for the full list.

In recognition of Ed’s efforts, we’ll send her a gift certificate good for any of the fine establishments on giftcertificates.com. Thanks to all who participated — enjoy the month!

Congrats to SHERRY, winner of our official “Smartest Person in the Audience” Contest following yesterday’s webinar.

In recognition of Sherry’s efforts, she will receive a $100 gift certificate good for any of the fine merchants on giftcertificates.com.

The correct answers to the were B, B, B, C and D.

Thanks to all who participated!

Click here to join the 6,509 highly intelligent individuals who subscribe to our Employment Law Alerts. 

Every other week or so, I send out a brief summary of all the major employment law developments in an easy-to-digest format.  The goal is to give you the news you need to stay on top of the law and out of jail.

The next Alert will be coming out shortly.  Enjoy!

Click here to sign up for today’s FREE webinar, entitled The Great Employment Law Quiz Show. We’ll give you all the latest legal developments in an entertaining and educational quiz show-type format in which audience members compete for valuable prizes.

Hope you can join us!

Click here to sign up for our next FREE webinar, entitled The Great Employment Law Quiz Show. We’ll give you all the latest legal developments in an entertaining and educational quiz show-type format in which audience members compete for valuable prizes.

Our last webinar had 2,233 total attendees. We’re shooting for at least 2,233,233 on this one. Hope you can join us!