In a highly unscientific and probably wildly inaccurate poll, we ranked the best workplace songs in the history of mankind based on input from HR audiences around the country. The top five were as follows. (For educational purposes, we have included our expert legal commentary after each entry.)

5. Get a Job. We’re still analyzing the lyrics “yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, get a job” for potential legal implications. We’ll post our conclusions at a later date.

4. Take This Job and Shove It. Johnny Paycheck’s employer should have terminated him for insubordination and threats of workplace violence before he had a chance to quit, thereby reducing unemployment compensation exposure.

3. Bang the Drum All Day. Similarly, the employer in this song likely had valid grounds for termination, based on the employee’s frequent absenteeism, public defamation of his manager and threats to bang on his manager’s head as if it were a drum.

2. Taking Care of Business. We’re starting to see a trend here. Once again, the singer is a strong candidate for termation, given his open, repeated admission of working “at nothin’ all day.” However, in our opinion, the cool guitar riffs merit giving the employee a second chance.

And, according to HR professionals around the country, the NUMBER ONE WORK SONG OF ALL TIME IS . . .

MY CUBICLE. This YouTube sensation is a parody of James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful. Quite clearly, the singer’s cube will soon be available, given his revelation to more than 250,000 viewers that he only pretends to work, spends inordinate amounts of time surfing the internet and often sits in his cube nude, which, we believe, would violate most workplace dress codes.

OUR CONCLUSIONS

The conclusion is indisputable: popular music needs better role models in its work-themed songs.

Our challenge to you: write one! If you think you have a great (or even lame) work song, please send an email to Manpower’s Department in Charge of Enhancing the Image of Work in Popular Music at blawg@manpower.com.