Dumbest Questions Ever
I am often asked for tips on how to ask deep, probing Perry-Mason-type cross-examination questions in investigations, unemployment hearings and other contexts where it’s important to get at the truth.
With the help of Blawg reader Dorothy Douthit, we have assembled a set of actual questions taken from real court records for you to use as a handy training guide. Our suggestion: study the list and then do the exact opposite of what you see.
Here you go . . .
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary’s Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy.
*****
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?
*****
Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize that picture.
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
*****
Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
*****
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I’ll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th.
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?
*****
Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
*****
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
*****
Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
*****
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
*****
Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?
Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
Were you alone or by yourself?
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
So, you were gone until you returned?
Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
An attorney, apparently realizing that he was just about to ask a dumb question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”
Thanks, Dorothy, for your submission! (And special thanks to the Salt Lake Tribune which originally published the excerpts.)
